


Dark Days, Wild Nights

by irisbleufic



Series: Glow [2]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Asexuality Spectrum, Bands, Banter, Bickering, Bisexuality, Canon Compliant, Chronic Illness, Chronic Pain, Demisexuality, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Female Friendship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Jewish Character, M/M, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Music, Musicians, Neurodiversity, New Relationship, Nightmares, Performance Art, Pets, Post-Canon, Season/Series 02, Self-Esteem Issues, Stress Relief, Sweet, Teasing, cats are assholes, supportive boyfriends, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 04:16:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15856038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisbleufic/pseuds/irisbleufic
Summary: Todd nodded into the curve of Dirk’s neck, his next sob breaking on a short, hiccupping laugh.“I’ve gotta tell Amanda about this next time the crew rolls through town.  She’ll appreciate it.”Dirk smiled at that, giving Todd a slight poke in the side, which only made him laugh harder.“Plus, this wastotallyon my bucket list,” Dirk said, wiping Todd’s eyes when he pulled back.  “Have a dramatic meltdown in the middle of a sprawling American superstore.  Epic.”“You’re not the one having the meltdown, so it doesn’t count,” Todd pointed out.  “You’ll need to have your own meltdown.”





	Dark Days, Wild Nights

**1.**

Dirk paced the office with his mobile clutched to his chest, drawing concerned stares from Farah and Tina every time he paused to fire off another text. Thirty-four minutes and sixteen texts later, Todd still hadn’t responded. Wasn’t the prospect of a new client enticing enough?

“Why don’t you give us a hand?” Farah asked, cross-legged on the floor with Tina, where they were puzzling over a diagram and something half-assembled from pieces of plywood. “It’ll take your mind off Todd. I’m sure he’s just being fussy and driving the repair guy bonkers.”

“There’s no way getting a guitar inspected and dropping it off takes _this_ long,” Dirk fretted, nearly tripping because Jaws wound herself around his ankles. He bent and scooped up the black cat, nuzzling her soft head until she purred like a chainsaw. “He’s ignoring me.”

“Dude, he’s done anything _but_ ignore you since we got to Seattle,” Tina said, dropping another nail in three swift strikes. “For two weeks, it’s like we barely see you guys between 10 PM and 10 AM. And when we do see you, you’re attached at the hip. That’s a whole other level of honeymooning, you follow? Give Todd some time to deal with his shit.”

Dirk put his phone in his breast pocket and carried Jaws over to the sofa. He snuggled her until she yowled and escaped.

“But he said he’d be back in time to go with me to meet a possible client. He _promised_.”

“Chill,” Farah said, holding the next piece steady, shooing Jaws before the hammer came down. “Todd probably knows the music store people, and he decided it’s a good time to catch up.”

Folding his arms across his chest, Dirk glared at Mona, who was currently inert on Dirk’s desk.

“I could really use you coming to my defense about now,” he said. “Todd swore, didn’t he?”

Mona shifted into human form, sitting on the edge of the desk, her legs swinging. “Uh-huh.”

“And don’t you think it’s concerning he hasn’t answered?” Dirk went on. “He could be in—”

Dirk’s phone vibrated in his pocket, so Mona hopped off the desk and dashed to peer over Dirk’s shoulder while he read the text. Indeed, it was from Todd, but it was not reassuring.

“Congrats, Farah, seems you’re psychic,” Dirk retorted, tossing his phone aside. “Todd says he’s run into some old friends from a different band who’re inviting him to play with them tonight. He says they’ve got to, I quote, _jam_ till it’s time for curtain-up.”

“Can’t imagine he would’ve said all that without telling us when and where,” Farah said mildly.

“Tractor Tavern,” Mona volunteered, snatching Jaws before she could try to climb on top of the partially-constructed project. “It’s a club.”

Dirk grimaced at the boring object taking up space on his floor. “Excuse me, but what’s that?”

“Shoe rack,” Tina replied, flashing Dirk a double thumbs-up. “For all your preppy footwear.”

“Tractor Tavern?” Farah echoed, setting down the latest piece of plywood. “That’s a big deal.”

“So is a prospective _case_ , Farah,” Dirk said, rising, his mind made up. “I’ll go alone.”

Tina and Farah were both on their feet and had him by the elbows in about three seconds flat.

“You’re not going anywhere by yourself,” Farah said. “Last time I let you out of my sight—”

“No can do,” Tina agreed, helping Farah yank him back over to the sofa. “Todd’ll never forgive us if your ass lands back in some _X-Files_ hellhole.”

Dirk struggled against their grasp on him, but they were both far stronger than he’d ever been.

“What if we lose a case?” he protested. “What if we lose a _really_ compelling one?”

“Let’s get one thing straight,” Farah said, finally letting go. “If you’re meant to have the case, it’ll wait, okay? Meanwhile, Todd’s being a selfish dick. We should go heckle him.”

“I haven’t been to the Tractor in, like, eight years,” said Tina, sounding excited. “Throwback!”

“Show starts at seven,” sighed Dirk, in defeat. “He signed the text with a kissy face and heart.”

“Dude,” Tina said, plopping down beside Dirk, “he’s _such_ a keeper.”

Dirk, feeling entirely dissatisfied with the situation, responded to Todd with a crying-face emoji.

The silence for hours thereafter was nerve-wracking, and Dirk hoped it was jamming-related.

While Farah didn’t spend much time on dressing for the evening, Tina changed so drastically that Dirk did a double-take when she came downstairs in heavy eyeliner, ripped jeans, and a Mexican Funeral t-shirt that was rattier and more lived-in than most of Todd’s. 

It took a lot of cajoling, but she persuaded Dirk to go swap out his collared shirt and apricot-print tie for the tee that Todd had given him. It didn’t look poorly under his black jacket, anyway.

Dirk sulked for most of the ride over to Ballard, although he had to admit that it was an appealingly kitschy sort of neighborhood. According to Tina’s loud complaints, they were too early, but Farah paid their cover charges and hustled them inside.

Easy enough, giving Farah and Tina the slip while they bickered over what drinks to order. Not very difficult, either, fibbing his way into the other room where the stage was. Either he looked cool enough to be a sound tech, or the bouncer thought he was cute. He’d take either.

Todd was sitting on the edge of the stage with his guitar in the midst of set-up bustle, although he wasn’t alone. The guy next to him was tuning his bass, and he had Todd deep in conversation.

“We missed our shot at the client,” Dirk said huffily when Todd glanced up at his approach.

The look on Todd’s face told Dirk everything he needed to know, which was: he felt guilty.

“You must be Dirk,” said the guy beside Todd. “He’s done nothing but talk about you all day.”

Dirk looked instantly to Todd, unable to deny that made his heart flutter with mortifying speed.

Todd set his guitar in the stand next to them and reached for Dirk’s hands, tugging him in until he stood between Todd’s thighs. Like this, there was almost no height difference.

“Hey,” Todd said, foregoing introductions, and kissed Dirk so everyone could see. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too,” Dirk admitted, breathing easy as the knot in his chest subsided. “Yes, I’m Dirk,” he said, pleased, turning his head toward Todd’s companion. “The boyfriend.”

“Right on,” said the guy, grinning broadly at Todd. “About time you were happy, Brotzman.”

 

**2.**

Todd woke feeling warm and sleepy, ready to honor his promise to Dirk that they’d stay in for the day. If that was one form apologies needed to take in this relationship, then he was ready to show Dirk that he was worth Todd’s time and attention even without a case. Being romantically involved kind of implied that in the first place, but Dirk needed constant reassurance.

The trouble was, Dirk’s side of the bed was empty, and Todd had no idea what to make of that.

Locating his shirt and boxers on the floor was easy—but, it turned out, unnecessary.

Dirk breezed into the room fully dressed and put-together, giving Todd a fond look.

“What are you doing?” Todd asked, dropping his tee. “The plan for today was having no plans.”

Dirk smiled slyly, went over to Todd’s chest of drawers, and pulled out some jeans and a hoodie.

“So, as I was lying awake and enjoying that not-really-snoring thing you do, I had an epiphany,” he said, thrusting the clothes at Todd. “I’ve only seen what bits of this city the Spring case required, but it would behoove me to get familiar. If we spend the day doing touristy things, it’ll kill two birds with one stone! A case might smack right into us! It was wrong-headed of me to get bent out of shape about last night, I mean—I got familiar with a new neighborhood, met your old friends, _and_ got to see what Tina’s on about when she talks about how sexy you were back when—”

Todd dropped his clothes on the floor and sat down on the edge of the mattress, rubbing his face.

“Can we maybe discuss how this stuff goes both ways?” he asked, patting the spot beside him.

Dirk nodded eagerly and sat down, the sudden sharp, anxious quality of his expression a dead give-away. He was terrified of doing the wrong thing, of losing Todd on a technicality.

Taking Dirk’s face in both hands, Todd kissed Dirk until he clung tightly, toppling Todd back in the blankets. Todd ran his hands from Dirk’s jacket-covered elbows up to his shoulders.

“These rainbow stripes were a hit last night,” he said, rubbing the leather. “Wear it more often?”

“No, no, we are _not_ avoiding whatever it was you wanted to talk about,” Dirk scolded.

Todd sighed, mussing Dirk’s perfect hair. “You’re as prone to spinning off on impulse as I’m prone to being self-centered,” he said reluctantly. “I want…I want us to work on this. I don’t want to wake up someday and find you gone because I fucked up, and I don’t…”

Dirk’s eyes had gone round, vulnerable, and luminous. “Oh _no_. Darling, of course.”

Todd shook his head. “Even though you annoyed the shit out of me at first, I can’t imagine wanting to walk out on you now. But—but things happen, Dirk. Things you don’t expect.”

Dirk sat up and shed his jacket, eyes averted, dropping it on the floor. He loosened his tie, yanked it free of his collar, and threw it as far across the room as he could—which, admittedly, wasn’t far. Last, he took off his shoes and crawled fully onto the mattress beside Todd.

“You are worth more to me than—than a _hundred_ cases,” he said quietly, rolling onto his side so that they faced each other. “It’s just that I don’t know what to do when life slows down, when there’s a lull, when it stops. I’ve never done this before, _um_ —had a life.”

“I had a life,” Todd said, scooting until he could hook a leg over Dirk’s, “but it wasn’t worth much until you showed up. I think you showed me how to do the opposite, all the fast-and-furious stuff I was too afraid to chase. Maybe let me show you how to relax?”

Dirk nodded, nuzzling Todd’s face, tugging at Todd’s boxers like his plans had just evaporated.

“Farah’s right,” he said, pressing so close that Todd could feel the frenetic clip of his pulse. “If a case is meant to find us now, then it will. If not, then… _you’re_ my case.”

“I can’t pay you very much,” Todd said teasingly. “We’re working off the same donation as is.”

“It’s an investment, Todd,” Dirk insisted, helping Todd untuck his shirt. “There’s a difference.”

“Maybe we’re lucky our investor understands the situation we’re in,” Todd said, running his hands up the warm skin of Dirk’s back. It was interrupted here and there with thin, smooth patches that made Todd’s chest tighten. “The universe kind of played matchmaker, huh?”

“I didn’t expect you,” Dirk said softly, hugging Todd close. “I didn’t expect this. Not ever.”

Todd closed his eyes, feeling contentment and protectiveness flood the space desire had made.

“What time is it?” he mumbled into Dirk’s shoulder. “We were up until two in the morning.”

“Not quite eight thirty,” Dirk said reluctantly, yawning. “I could sleep more if you wanted.”

Todd shoved at Dirk until he got the idea and they’d turned themselves the right way on the bed.

“Sleep, sex, breakfast?” he suggested, fixing the covers while Dirk finished getting undressed.

“Swap the first two,” Dirk said hopefully, pinning Todd to the pillows, “and you’ve got a deal.”

 

**3.**

Dirk had never been much for shopping, not even for basic necessities. His general _modus operandi_ had always been shorter, more frequent trips while in the line of other self-assigned duties—usually in and out as swiftly as possible.

The Target on Second Avenue was nothing like Sainsbury’s or Waitrose, and he was in awe.

“Todd, can you believe this,” he said, holding up a green rubber-coated bottle opener in the shape of an alligator. “It’s charming and utterly useless. I _need_ it.”

“We don’t have one of those in the kitchen yet, so, sure,” said Todd, a little distantly, lagging behind with the cart. “Tina will love you forever.”

“Her taste in alcohol is better than her appearance would have led me to believe,” Dirk said, tossing the bottle opener on top of their cleaning supplies. “Looks can be deceiving.”

“How’d you like that micro-brew she shoved at you two nights ago?” Todd asked wryly.

“It did little to either improve or worsen your performance, although,” Dirk said, pausing to examine a bundle checkered dishcloths, “by the time I’d finished it? Your sappy dedication to me on the last song was nowhere _near_ as embarrassing as it should’ve been. Do we need any of these?”

When Todd didn’t answer, Dirk tossed them over his shoulder into the cart and kept walking.

Five minutes later and several aisles over, arms full of hangers and a cactus-patterned shower curtain, Dirk realized he could no longer hear the cart’s rattle. He backtracked nervously.

A young girl with dark skin and wide brown eyes smacked right into him, catching his arm.

“Your friend’s sick,” she said fearfully. “He told me to find the guy in a bright red jacket.”

“ _Shit_ ,” Dirk muttered, shoving his finds aside on an empty shelf. “Todd, where is—no, never mind, he didn’t make it past the cutlery. Thanks!”

Todd was sitting with his back up against some shelves just a few feet beyond where Dirk had found the bottle opener. Their cart had drifted across the aisle and hit the opposite shelves.

Dirk dropped to his knees beside Todd without a second thought, gathering his trembling form.

“You should have said something,” he whispered helplessly. “What’s happening, how is it—”

“Needles,” Todd rasped, winding his arms around Dirk’s neck. “Everywhere you can imagine.”

Dirk fumbled in Todd’s pockets for his pills, heart stopping when he came up empty-handed.

“Part of the reason we needed to come here was my refill,” Todd laughed shakily. “Dumb, huh.”

“ _Shhh_ ,” Dirk said, shielding him from a pair of curious shoppers. “Is it starting to pass?”

“Slightly,” Todd said, his breathing more even than it had been seconds ago. “Just…thanks.”

“You seemed out of sorts from the moment we got here,” Dirk sighed. “ _Please_ tell me when this happens. We could’ve gone to the pharmacy first.”

“I didn’t want to risk causing a scene,” Todd replied. “I thought I could tough my way through.”

“We cause scenes no matter where we go,” Dirk said, stroking his hair. “It’s in our nature. Look, Todd, can’t you just—accept that you not only need help, but _deserve_ it?”

There were usually tears involved in some capacity during Todd’s most painful attacks, but the full-on silent, shuddering sobs were something new. Dirk held him tightly, determined.

“You said it yourself, before, when we were out digging holes like a couple of nutters. We’re a collective disaster, and there’s not much for it,” he went on, speaking low and soothing in Todd’s ear. “I love you no matter the mess you are, okay?”

Todd nodded into the curve of Dirk’s neck, his next sob breaking on a short, hiccupping laugh.

“I’ve gotta tell Amanda about this next time the crew rolls through town. She’ll appreciate it.”

Dirk smiled at that, giving Todd a slight poke in the side, which only made him laugh harder.

“Plus, this was _totally_ on my bucket list,” Dirk said, wiping Todd’s eyes when he pulled back. “Have a dramatic meltdown in the middle of a sprawling American superstore. Epic.”

“You’re not the one having the meltdown, so it doesn’t count,” Todd pointed out. “You’ll need to have your own meltdown.”

“I’m sorry, but most solo meltdowns we have between us become joint meltdowns by default,” Dirk scoffed, disentangling himself from Todd so he could get them back on their feet. “I could kiss you like I did during the pool situation, would that help?”

Todd was on tiptoe in no time at all, kissing the breath out of Dirk. Their backwards momentum cracked his head against the shelf, which resulted in a fit of hissing and swearing.

“Christ, can we get to the pharmacy before someone calls security,” he said, slightly hysterical.

While he was busy examining the back of Todd’s head, Dirk felt a tug on the hem of his jacket.

“Mom wants to know if you guys are okay,” said the girl, pointing to a veiled woman behind her.

Dirk stepped between Todd and their unlikely rescuer, giving him a moment to collect himself.

“Your daughter let me know Todd was having an attack,” Dirk told the concerned woman. “It’s kind of like seizures, in a way, but—but also different. I want to thank you.”

“We tried to keep people away from here,” she said. “Do you need help? A phone, a ride…?”

“We have both,” Todd said, reaching around Dirk to offer the daughter his hand. “Hey, thanks.”

Struck by the fortunate ludicrousness of the situation, Dirk reached inside his jacket and produced one of their business cards. He handed it to the girl’s mother, tapping the front.

“If you’re ever in need of holistic detectives,” he said, “your first case is _entirely_ on us.”

 

**4.**

Todd appreciated that Dirk’s intention had likely been to offer him a shred of control after what had happened earlier, but he was beginning to have his doubts about whether there was any benefit to Dirk. He lightened his touch on Dirk’s chest, steadying him through the come-down.

That said, Dirk blindfolded with his hands bound above his head was a sight worth remembering.

“Easy,” Todd said, freeing Dirk’s hands from the loosely-knotted tie around his wrists. He rubbed at Dirk’s fingers as he brought his hands back down, kissing one after the other.

Dirk lifted his head, flushed and breathless, seeking a kiss—or maybe he just some reassurance.

“Leave it for a minute,” he panted against Todd’s lips, so Todd didn’t dislodge the second tie.

“You’re covered,” Todd said, easing off after a few seconds, impressed with the mess they’d left on Dirk’s belly and chest. “Hang on,” he said, carefully shifting away from Dirk and off the bed. 

When he returned with a washcloth and some water, Dirk seemed so still as to have fallen asleep.

“Hey,” Todd whispered, setting down the glass, and brushed at an errant smear along Dirk’s jaw.

Dirk reacted so forcefully, both arms coming up in defense, that Todd almost fell off the bed. After a few seconds of bewildered panic, he pushed up the blindfold, took in his surroundings with a blink of dismay, and then reached for Todd in abject horror.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve drifted off, I think…” Dirk closed his eyes, swallowing hard while Todd resumed cleaning him. “It’s like when you blank out for a second, and…”

“It’s okay,” Todd said, half-assing the job more than he should. He turned out the light and got into bed beside Dirk, startled by how fast Dirk’s heart was beating. “It happens.”

Dirk nodded, melting against Todd’s side, otherwise sticky and sated. “That wasn’t boring.”

“You couldn’t be if you tried,” Todd told him. “I know it’s only been a couple weeks, but…trust me, I’m happy with this. With you, with everything. I never had much to begin with.”

“Then I’m offended at how little _good_ sex has offered us till now,” said Dirk, drowsily.

“Shush,” Todd whispered, grinning up at a ceiling he couldn’t even see. “Go to sleep.”

How much rest they managed to get before Dirk woke up screaming was another matter entirely.

“ _No_!” Dirk shrieked, thrashing. “That’s not—that’s _not_ how, it _doesn’t_ —”

“Dirk, _shhh_ ,” Todd said, holding him so he couldn’t hurt either of them. “I’m here.”

Dirk slumped against him, panting so hard that, for a moment, Todd thought he was sobbing.

“Lights,” he mumbled, clutching at Todd’s shoulders, “please, _now_ , please, I need…”

Todd fell out of bed in a hurry, swore, got up again, and turned on the bedside lamp. He handed Dirk the untouched glass of water, and then hunted down their ragtag sleepwear. The way Dirk was shivering, being naked probably wasn’t helping in the slightest.

“Give it,” Todd said, taking the empty glass out of Dirk’s shaking hand. “Put this on,” he said, helping Dirk into the second Mexican Funeral shirt he’d stolen from Todd. “Lift up.”

“Stupid of me to want…” Dirk trembled. “They used to blindfold me. Blackwing. For tests.”

“Then we’re not doing that anymore,” Todd said, relieved that Dirk had taken charge to the point he could finish putting on his underwear, and shrugged into his own shirt. “Jesus.”

Dirk looked too contrite for Todd’s liking, so he finished pulling on his boxers and wrapped Dirk in his arms. After the stress of their ill-fated shopping trip earlier, this wasn’t surprising.

“See,” Todd said, kissing Dirk’s temple, “here’s your meltdown. Glad it wasn’t at Target, huh?”

Dirk laughed a little at that, but it was silent, subdued. “Somebody’s coming,” he said warily.

The knock on their bedroom door was tentative, almost apologetic in its faltering repetition.

“Are you guys okay in there?” Farah asked, knocking again. “I thought I heard screaming?”

Todd tipped Dirk’s chin up, giving him a questioning look. “Would you feel better if…”

Dirk nodded, straightening, sitting up beside Todd of his own volition. “You can come in.”

Farah looked every inch the elegant military man’s daughter in her button-down pajamas.

“Aren’t you posh,” Dirk said as she came over to sit beside him on the opposite edge of the bed.

“I was just thinking that,” said Todd, reluctant to remove his arm from around Dirk’s shoulders.

“Tina sleeps like the dead,” Farah sighed, “so I have no clue whether she’s having nightmares like the rest of us or not. I bet she is. That was some serious shit we went through.”

“The shit in this instance has to do with Blackwing,” Dirk said reluctantly, shrinking back against Todd’s side. “Then and now.”

“Goddammit,” said Tina, wandering through the open door, appraising. “Who needs hugs?”

“Yes _please_ ,” said Dirk, muffled against Todd’s shoulder, scooting to make room for Farah, who was already crawling onto the pile. “More.”

Todd huffed as Tina dashed around the bed and practically threw herself on top of him, wrapping her skinny, jittery arms around as much of him and Dirk as she could. He’d always been kind of claustrophobic when it came to puppy piles, but Dirk loved being at the center of hugs.

It was comical at best, unbelievable at worst, when Jaws padded into the room with a questioning trill and leapt up onto the bed. She butted her head against Todd’s foot, purring loudly.

“The only thing that could make this better,” Dirk sighed, tugging Farah’s arm tighter across his waist, “is if Mona were here, but I have the feeling she’d need to stay small.”

“We’re _not_ cramming another person into this bed,” Todd grunted. “Tina, hands off.”

“Aw, man,” Tina said, relocating her hand from Todd’s hip up to his shoulder. “Spoilsport.”

The foot of the bed dipped, causing the mattress springs to creak. Todd blinked at the intrusion.

“I don’t like doing _that_ ,” Mona said, kneeling primly as she pointed, “but I’m right here.”

“Did you just come in, or were you, like…down there all along?” Todd asked with trepidation.

“Cat toy,” she said. “This silly girl—” she cuffed Jaws’s silky ears “—dropped me on the floor.”

“I want to have a sleepover,” said Dirk, happily. “Todd, _can_ we make this a sleepover?”


End file.
